


It's okay to cry...

by LadyNikita



Series: Hamilton One-Shots [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Era, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-11 07:10:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11143404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNikita/pseuds/LadyNikita
Summary: Prompt: "It's okay to cry..."





	It's okay to cry...

The night that fell upon their camp was unexpectedly cold. The winter was coming fast. Alexander wrapped himself in the blanket tighter as he was sitting on the bed, with his travelling desk on his lap, writing another letter to the Congress with a request for supplies.  
After a while somebody slid into the tent. Alexander didn’t pay any attention to him, completely focused on writing. Although the incomer managed to pull him out of it, as Alex felt his breath on his neck and a quiet whisper “Alexander, it’s already after midnight.”  
He turned around to see John Laurens with his arms crossed from cold.  
“Really?” he asked. John only nodded and jumped into his bed.  
“Shit, why is it so cold here?” he groaned as he shifted, trying to find a proper position, in which he would be the most comfortable and warm.  
Alexander went back to writing, there was a moment of silence, when John asked “What are you still doing? Go to sleep.”  
Alexander sighed.  
“I have to write this as soon as possible, we need this supplies-”  
“But when you’ll be exhausted you won’t be useful at all” John pointed out. “Don’t make me go out there to you and carry you to bed myself. It’s finally a bit warmer here.”  
“I’m not sure about your intentions, Laurens, was this meant to tempt me to stay up a bit longer?” Alex teased, almost feeling how John rolled his eyes.  
“Go to this damn bed right away.”  
“I have never met this side of you, my dear Jack, I’m not sure what you want me to do anymore” he laughed.  
“I want you to go to sleep finally, Hamilton and don’t call me Jack” John said into his blanket impatiently, but Alex knew he was smiling. Though he eventually put away the pen and blow on the candle.  
“Goodnight, John.”  
“Goodnight, Hammie.”  
Alexander snorted and crawled into bed. It was in fact freezing. He wrapped himself in the blanket and closed his eyes.  
He almost fell asleep when he heard the drops of rain tapping on the tent. He tried to ignore them, but the cold and the rain have awoken memories in his mind. He struggled to think of something else, but his mind gave up, drowning in the scenes of the hurricane. He heard the screams again. He felt the cold of the water and strong wind. Before his eyes a face appeared. It was his mother. He was twelve again and she was holding him again, her arms cold. Dead. She died from the sickness and he couldn’t follow her. He was crying again, screaming for help, but no one could hear him, for he was too quiet in the all strength of the hurricane. He looked at the streets - he saw dead bodies in the water. Suddenly one of the faces seemed familiar…  
“James!” he yelled and ran to him. He jumped into the cold water. He couldn’t swim. But James was there. He needed help. When Alex finally made his way to his brother, he embraced him and noticed it. He didn’t breathe. He drowned. He was dead. Just like his mother. Just like the majority of the town. Just like all Alex has ever knew.  
Freezing water was raising around them, as Alex held his brother tight. He was crying, tears were streaming down his face, but got lost in the rain that was falling on him.  
“Alex… Alex?” he heard his name, spoken by the wind. It was calling him. Was it death - finally? Can he join his family now, his friends?  
“Alex!” the whole world was spinning around. He was choking on the water. He was drowning. He gave up. He will welcome death with a greeting, awaiting to meet his mother again.  
“Alex, wake up!” No, he wasn’t dying. He couldn’t seem to die. He found himself in the tent, John Laurens sitting beside him with his eyes opened wide, alarmed. He felt his cheeks wet from tears and had the feeling like he was screaming a moment ago. He prefered not to ask about it. He inhaled heavily as he was assuring himself that everything is alright, he is safe and there is no water.  
“Alexander, are you alright?” John asked, holding his hand instinctively.  
“I-I… I’m-” he tried to articulate, but he was shaking all over and the cold around didn’t make it any easier.  
“Shhhh” John sat by his side and hugged him. He rubbed Alex’s back, as tears uncontrollably ran down his cheeks again. “It’s okay to cry. You’ll feel better. It’s okay.”  
After a few minutes Alex in fact felt a bit better. And he also felt the shame rising in his heart. He showed the weakness that no one knew about. He pulled away from John softly, rubbing his face to wipe away the rest of tears.  
“Do you wanna talk about it?” John asked carefully. Alex rapidly shook his head. He didn’t want to go back to these events twice in one night. John nodded silently. He rubbed his arm and stood up, heading to his own bed, when Alex caught his hand.  
“John” he whispered. “Could you… stay with me, here, tonight?” he asked. John looked at him for a second. “It will be warmer for us both” Alex added quickly and John grinned slightly.  
“Of course, I will stay with you.”  
He lay next to him. Alex, already half asleep, cuddled to him. John smiled and closed his eyes. It was warmer in a moment. He caught his hand and squeezed it softly.  
“Goodnight, Alexander” he whispered.  
“Goodnight, my dear Laurens.”


End file.
